One Year (and a bit)

Thumbs up for birthday cake!

One year old. It’s funny how that year has at times felt like it was ten years, ans sometimes only felt like it was one month. That’s a bit cliche, to be sure, but who cares? What have I learned in one year of being a father, and being a father of twins? I’m not a big fan of giving advice about raising children for two reasons. I hate getting unsolicited advice, and every child is different. Having twins has reinforced that second part. What works for one does not necessarily work for the other. But you’re still reading this blog post, so I’ll assume that you’re interested in hearing what I have to say, and I’ll try to keep the information generic, and not child specific.

What I have learned:

• You will sleep poorly. You may get used to it. You may not. It’s gotten better for us, but not by chance. We had to work at it.
• Take a lot of photos and video. Especially for those first few months. You will probably sleep the worst during that time, and your recollection of it all may be a bit hazy. Photos and videos will help you remember those early days.
• Twins attract attention. Parents will point them out to their children saying things like, “Look at the twins!”, in a tone much like you might hear at the zoo. “Look at the zebra!” I’m not used to it, but I tolerate it much better.
• People, on noticing your twins will say stupid things, because they want to talk, but have nothing to say.
• Your children are tougher than you think. They stumble, fall crash, smash, thump, bump, and tumble. They probably didn’t even notice.
• Your children are more fragile than you think. The wrong bit of food, a sudden noise, a knee on a pebble, a flash of light, and a million things you never even saw. All of these things can start tears. They need you and want you. Be there for them.
• You are their best friend, favorite toy, and coolest thing. They will light up when they see you, and cry when you leave. They love you no matter what. Return the favour.
• They’ll take their own time to learn things. Encourage them, but don’t force them. This works for feeding, walking, crawling, sitting up, playing, talking, and anything else you can think of. Around six months I was very concerned about their development. Now I just do what I can to help and encourage them. I read and talk to people about good ways to encourage and help them, then adapt the ideas to the twins and our lifestyle.
• Sometimes you’re going to be lost, confused and stressed. It’s part of the process. Accept it, even embrace it. It will pass
• Sometimes you’re going to be ecstatic, overjoyed, and amazed. It’s part of the same process. Enjoy it.
• People will offer advice. They mean well, regardless of the quality of their advice.
• There will be poop.
• Be involved. Every day I wish that I had spent more time with them the day before. It’s going to be heartbreaking for me when I go back to work.
• You will read things and talk to people that will make dads seem like second class parents. You’re not. Parenting is a team effort. Carry your weight, and no matter what anybody says, you will never feel like less of a parent. And to you’re kids, you’re both number one.

Excellent cake, my compliments to the chef.

I could probably keep going for a while, but I’m sure you get the picture. Feel free to add your own insights in the comments if you like.

Thanks for reading.

rjb

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