Spark and Silas are a little over two years old. I’ve been looking back on those two years + pregnancy and asking myself what would I do differently if I had the opportunity? I’ll share those thoughts with you, hoping maybe they might help someone else, or at the very least help me stay accountable. It’ll be embarrassing for me, but sometimes you just need to remind your self that you’re only human. I apologize for the poor grammar in this post.. I’m recovering from a migraine, and for some reason am having trouble keeping my verb tenses consistent.
I think that I did OK during Kim’s pregnancy. I supported her as best I knew how, and the twins were healthy when they were born. One change I would make would be my eating habits. With twins, plenty of calories are a good idea for Mom. Not so much for Dad. I didn’t gain much weight, but I could have eaten healthier and exercised more. I’m not in my 20s and should be taking better care of myself for the twins, and Kim.
Once the twins were born, there were some changes I should have made. I’ve never been a picture/ film person. I really should have taken more pictures and videos. I’ve mentioned that before, and it’s still true.
Way less TV/ Videos. Sometimes I just didn’t know what to do, and instead of toughing it out or learning, I’d pop something on for the twins to watch while I took a mental break. It became a crutch, as did the excuse, “They’re twins, they’re a lot of work.” Suck it up, Dad. We’ve pretty much cut out TV entirely now, except for some occasions like Saturday morning, or educational shows that we watch with them. I’m also thinking of making a video or two of our own, to help with stuff like colours, counting, etc.
Sleeping more. Sometimes there is no time to sleep. But often when there’s been time to sleep I’ve been taking “me time”. Reading, watching a movie, playing a game, surfing the net, and so on. Me time is important, but so is sleep. If I had slept more, I probably wouldn’t have felt such a need for me time.
Blogging more, or at least writing in a journal. It’s like photos and videos, but for your thoughts. Being able to look back at what you though, how you felt, and where you were personally seems important to me. A way to look back and see things get easier or harder, to reflect on decisions, and sometimes to laugh at yourself. We’re gonna run in opposite directions, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Learned more about how to help my kids learn what they need to. Now that Silas has lost most of his early language skills, we need to start somewhere near square one again. Except I don’t know what square one was. We did some reading (Kim read far more than I did) and just kind of faked it. People have been raising kids without books for a long time now. Well, now that we need to start over, I wish that we had a better background. Spark would probably be much further along if we had. Then again, maybe not. There’s no way to know, and no value in second-guessing yourself too much. But for now I’m reading more, and thinking about it more. We’ll get there, where ever there is.
I’d take them out more. When Kim was working and I was a stay at home dad, there was always an excuse to not go out. The truth is that it was just too much hassle. Get them changed, dressed, get snacks together, put together a diaper bag, and so on. Excuses, all of them. I should have put some clothes on them, gotten them in the stroller, and headed out. Once I started to go out more with them, it wasn’t easy, but it was fun. It’s still not easy, but some of it would be by now if we had gone out more.
I’d learn more about what to feed them. This is another thing we’ve just been winging it on. It’s tougher out here in Dawson where food is more expensive, and there’s less variety, especially in the winter. They eat well enough, and they’re healthy, but more variety wouldn’t hurt. I’m still working on that.
OK, that’s enough embarrassing myself for today. There’s things that I’ve done well, and overall I’d saw that we’ve done a good job, but there’s always room for improvement. By identifying these areas for improvement, we can start acting on them. As usual, thanks for reading.